Meditation Doesn't Make It Go Away | Financial Stress + Negative Self-Talk

Do you ever wake up feeling good, then suddenly remember all your financial stress and it drags you down? That's where I'm at.

In this episode, I'm trying something new: the "open threads" recording method. No outline, no script—just hitting record and following where my mind goes when I'm stressed about money, work, and negative self-talk.

I've been meditating daily for 3+ years, and here's the truth: meditation helps, but it doesn't make the financial anxiety go away. It's still there, like a gray filter over life. My mind keeps telling me things won't get better, that I should borrow money this month, that everyone else has it figured out except me.

This episode wanders through:
- The intrusive thoughts that meditation helps me observe (a thought moment involving a DoorDash robot )
- The judgment voices that argue about eating ice cream while I'm eating ice cream
- Why I'm still in gig work 8 years after a soul-crushing call center job
- Working 50+ hours a week while job hunting with no results
- The shame of borrowing money from friends and family
- Trying to make delivery work fun by pretending I'm in Death Stranding
- A guided meditation on experiencing your hand and thinking of someone you love
- Practical meditation instructions for when thoughts hijack you

If you're struggling financially, working too much, and your mind won't shut up about it—this one's for you. It's messy, it's real, and it's exactly what trying to let go actually looks like.

Transcript

Waking Up to Financial Stress

Meditation Doesn't Make It Go Away

Intrusive Thoughts and Ice Cream

I'm Capable of So Much

The World Right Now

Thank You, Brain

Making Work Fun

Death and Public Speaking

The Hand Meditation

The Call Center Story

I Was Lost, But Now Am Found

Jacob 0:03

All right, we're recording. This is Jake. You ever wake up? You ever wake up in the morning and you feel good? Everything's going great. And you start your day, you get dressed, take a shower, get dressed, get on the road, you know, you get to your job. You just feel good. And then you have a thought, something you forgot about. And it drags you down. Your your mind kind of goes, Oh yeah. There's that thing. That thing I need to worry about. But I mean, to be honest, I go back and forth. A lot of days I wake up and I'm feeling pretty good, and then I remember usually financial crap. And it drags me down. Right now I'm doing alright. I'm ahead of the bills. But I keep I keep remembering about all the things I have coming up in the near future. I have to show up in court for a speeding ticket that I got, and that's like in a couple of days. I'm racing to make the rent, which this month I believe I should be okay on. Like 95% confident on that. So that's good. That's a big one. But I've got my car insurance, which is renewing. And that doesn't feel good. Car insurance is one thing I've been kind of bummed about lately. These bastards, man, they keep raising my rates. I won't say the company name. I just switched off of another company that had me at 200 to start. Went up to 300, 350. Then I went, I switched to this company, and they started me at 200. And then they bumped me to 250, 280. Now I gotta pay the 280 to end the last one, and the new one starts at something similar. It's just, I don't know, things pile up. I suppose I I just want to work 40 hours a week and have enough money for everything. You know, I'm not asking for a Lamborghini or even vacations around the world, you know, a lot of expensive stuff. I'm just I want the basics. I just want to work 40 hours and have enough for the basics. Just the basics. But yeah, I hate that feeling when you are feeling good, and it's almost like you forgot about your your financial woes or whatever is woeing you, and then you remember it, and it's like, uh And it's weird, my mind it does that split where it's telling me things are pretty bad. You're in a tough financial spot, and you can't be happy right now. And then you meditate, meditate every day. And it helps a lot, you know, but it doesn't make it go away. It's still there. It's kind of like a malaise. There's like a a gray color filter over life. I was thinking about this yesterday. I was able to take the afternoon yesterday, but there's still that feeling of guilt. Like I could be out there making more money to get out of debt faster. How dare you take time off. And then the time off doesn't heal you like it should. A few episodes ago, I called I talked about that feeling when you were a kid and you got out of school and you were just watching the clock kick, you know, count down to 3 or 3.15, whatever your timeout was, and as soon as the bell hit, you just felt so free, like you did what you had to do for the day, and then you could go home and play and have fun. And uh I don't mean to sound down to you guys right now. I'm just kind of sharing with you. Um, I don't know, that end of the month crunch. It's end of the month crunch for for rent, and then I've gotta show up in court to pay this darn speeding ticket. This cop would not cut me some slack. I work seven days a week, so I forget if it's a weekday or weekend. I'm not making excuses for my speeding. I was speeding. It was a school zone, 35 miles an hour. And I think I was doing 50 or just over 50. I by the moment I realized it was a school zone, I started to slow down because most everybody does 45 through the school zones at least. So I was literally going with the flow of traffic, but then I remembered and I started to slow down, and then I saw a cop, and my first thought was, oh, thank God I noticed, you know, he'll probably go after these other guys who are passing me, but nope. Pulled me over. Oh, I'm gonna I'm gonna go to court and ask him to see if I can make payments. It's like, dude, I gotta get out of this job, you know. I've been saying that forever now, but I'm still in it. But I am, you know, turning the gears of uh job hunting. My schedule is about to open up uh a lot more, at least consistently, after I pay rent. I'm gonna take time every day to apply very very much more consistently. Before I was kind of like squeezing it in, flying by the seat of my pants, but I'm you know, I'm doing the things. But I don't know. You guys listening out there, do you struggle financially? Does it encroach on your thoughts a lot? Am I the only one? Of course not. Meditation is useful with it though. I think the big key for me when I'm I've been meditating, practicing meditation now for three plus years, three and a half, but it never makes it easier. I mean, I don't know. It's tough to talk about meditation because meditation is kind of like that silence behind everything. It helps you rest in your being, not in your doing. So I I feel all these fears about my finances. You know, thoughts appear in my head like my car could break down at any moment and my income could disappear, or I could get killed on the road or injured, or they could nerf my pay yet again. So, you know, all these thoughts appear. Like I'll I'll be in a good mood and then I'll drive by uh one of those new DoorDash robots now. I don't know if you guys have seen those in your town, and it makes me angry. Like the company, not only have they cut my pay drastically over the last year and a half, 35%, but now they are replacing me with robots. It's like, oh, I get frustrated. I just want to go up to those robots and push them over, you know, or pick them up in the air and just throw them in. I get all these crazy thoughts sometimes. I mean, I'm human like you. You ever get you ever get a random thought in your head and you're like, where the hell did that come from? Where the hell did this thought come from? Holy smokes. That is one thing meditation will do, though, is make you much more observational. You start to observe yourself. Why the hell am I doing this? At the end of the day, I'll be uh I'll be eating um you know something unsa unhealthy, like a little bit of ice cream or something, or some pizza, you know, my my go-to staple lazy mode diet, foods, and I'm just like, what the hell? Why am I eating this? You know? And then another voice pops in my head, why are you judging yourself? You're eating the ice cream, you might as well fucking enjoy it. Don't get on your own case about eating ice cream while you're eating ice cream. I suppose when I'm in the in the grocery store, that would be a good time. Don't buy it, don't bring it home because it'll get eaten. But I have big plans. I've had plans for a while, but I know that um things have been moving, stirring in me to get more organized. I don't want to just survive anymore. I know I'm capable of so much. I know I am. And it's just a matter of um finding some traction for it. Finding a way to be appreciated for what I have to offer. And it's tough to find that in today's working world. A lot of you listening probably don't feel very appreciated or well compensated for your labor, your time, and I feel the same way. But I look around and I have confidence, not to put down others, but I I see some people um who make great money, and I think to myself, I there's nothing this person has over me. You know, it's just I'm in my own way. You know, I'm again, I'm not putting them down. I'm I'm just lifting myself up. Like, you know, this person has nothing on me. Uh when I was younger, I used to look up to adults and think, wow, you know, I gotta I want to strive to be like that. But it's like once you get to your 30s, especially now for me, I'm 42, I look around and I'm like, man, there's nothing anybody has on anybody, really. We're all just we're all just kind of dumb animals trying to figure this life thing out. And along the way, uh some of the mean dumb animals started being oppressive to the nicer animals, and uh now we got ourselves a uh exploitative exploited exploitative can I talk today? No, I can't. Exploitative relationship is what I was going for. We need to be nicer to each other. I mean, golly, look at the world right now. That's another thing. Holy smokes, our phones, they just pump you full of terrible information, right? I'm trying to stay positive and look on the finer side, the brighter side of life, you know, trying to meditate, stay centered. You open your phone and it's like just oh gosh. I'm sure many of you uh are well aware of what's going on in Minnesota right now. I won't rehash the details, but I mean it's horrifying. Horrifying. And it fires you up. It can make you angry, it can make you off centered if you let it, but it's hard not to let it, right? We see all this injustice going on, and we want to do something, damn it. And people are doing something, and that makes me happy. When I open my phone and I see an ocean of bodies in the streets with signs, all I can do is smile from ear to fucking ear. Uh sorry. I'm not gonna say sorry. Darn it. It's crazy times right now. Crazy. And that does not make it easier. It'd be nice if I could work 40 hours a week and then go join them in the streets for a few extra hours to help out. But that's life. Sometimes life is butterflies and rainbows. Sometimes life is just lounging about on your L-shaped sectional sofa, browsing mindlessly on Netflix what to watch, totally relaxed, and sometimes it is knee deep in shit, if I can be so frank. How did we get here? How do we get out? Well I like to think of what we can and can't do and just focus on what we can do. Differentiate between the two, relax. I've quoted the Dalai Lama before where he says, Is there something you can do about it? Oh, wonderful. Then there's no need to worry. And if there's nothing you can do about it, wonderful. No need to worry. There's never a time to worry. And sometimes I get frustrated with myself when I get caught in my worrying thought loops. There's nothing I can do about it. I gotta show up at court. I think it's on February 4th or 5th. I got it written down somewhere. Yes, Your Honor, I was speeding. I take full responsibility. I am broke, AF. If you could split this payment up for me, I would greatly be uh greatly appreciate you. But if not, I will bum some money from people, Your Honor, to pay the state uh a th almost $300 fine for doing a few miles over with the flow of traffic. I won't say that last part, of course. That's just what it is. I got some fun interviews lined up, and um, I bring this up because you know, even doing the podcast, trying to stay ahead, it was it was getting to a point where I was like, okay, I need to just wipe the slate clean for a moment, get rent, you know, get my my schedule for the RL real life stuff figured out, organize that a little bit, come back to the drawing board, if you will, and now here I am. Here I am. I try not to dwell on it too much because there's mornings where I wake up and it's all doom and gloom, and my heart is pounding, and I'm like, how am I gonna stay ahead? And then as the day goes goes on, things get easier. But I tell you, sometimes waking up early in the morning when it's still dark out and everyone's still sleeping, and I'm meditating, my mind is just a shitstorm swirling around saying you're fucked. You better figure out who you're gonna borrow from this month. Oh, that's the worst. Borrowing money from people. Isn't that the worst? It's like we love to help people, but we hate receiving help as humans. It is hard to learn how to accept help. At least for me, I don't know about you. It's tough. I've had friends loan me money to help me out in my situation. I've had family many times over. And then your mind crafts a wonderful story about yourself. You really are a fuck up, aren't you? Everyone's got a job that pays the bills, but you mind just keeps telling you things are not gonna get better over and over again, relentlessly. Like, what is the purpose of your thoughts? Sometimes I wonder, like, I'll stop and I'll be like to myself, okay, what is your point here? You know, sometimes your mind sounds like a stressed out friend, and you're just like, what the hell is the matter with you? Relax. Yes, it's tough right now, but we're not dead right now. Feel that air going into your lungs? We're just chilling right now, or we're just driving right now, or I'm just picking bananas out at Walmart. It's okay. Jack Cornfield he says, Thank you, brain, for trying to keep me safe, but I'm okay right now. You can go relax. Calm down. God. I love my brain. It it's pretty decent, it works pretty well. You know, it solves the logical problems of life, interacts with this uh 3D interface we call the world. It does a really great job at that. But it it tries to do too much sometimes, it tries to worry. I think it was Jesus on the Sermon of the Mount, he said, take no thought for tomorrow. And what do we do? We nod our heads, oh yeah, yeah, that's great advice. Okay, back to thinking. We don't ever stop, do we? And focus in on that sentence. Take no thought for tomorrow. Stop. Yeah, yeah, great advice. Okay, back to thinking. I think part of the reason is the stimuli. Trying to promote this podcast on social media. Holy smokes. That's like a black hole. It sucks me right in. I mentioned before about this. Like, I gotta stop myself half the time. Like you go on X and it's like a thousand times worse. That's why I've been trying to promote the podcast more through threads, and I'm trying to curate the algorithm so it's not as button-pushy, you know, trying to stimulate some rage. What do they call it? Rage bait. I think my brother was telling me about that on the episode I did with him. Like, why are people going online trying to induce rage? What is the matter with you? Life is short enough and hard enough already, and you're going online, you know, to um, I guess, drag people down with you to to get a following. I'm gonna I'm gonna read you a quote that just came to mind. Okay, I found it. This is impromptu. I I didn't plan on reading this in the episode, but there's a line that says, first they came for the communists, and I did not speak out because I was not a communist. Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out because I was not a socialist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew. And then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak for me. See, people are standing up before it gets worse. Ugh. And it's frustrating enough just trying to survive, and you hear about all this, you know, and it's like, oh you just kind of let it out sometimes. You ever do that in your car? You just grab your steering wheel, windows are up, and you just let out a my wife's in the other room probably wondering like, what the hell is going on? What kind of episode is he doing in there? I don't know. This is new. If you like this format, say something, damn it. I'm just joking. I love you guys. But yeah. Sometimes you just gotta walk it off, you know? You gotta stand up and do the right thing and uh like this week I'm I'm I'm probably sitting at just about 52 hours, 53 hours, which is not bad, you know. But I'm gonna be honest, like there's parts of there's parts of my week and where my body is just screaming at me, screaming at me, like stay home. You need free time. Play with my son. Took my kids to the movies last week. I plan on doing mini golf with them next week, you know, or just hang out with the wife, play some video games. You gotta be silly, you gotta have time to be silly. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. You just gotta have time, you gotta carve out those moments. And I carve out those moments while I'm working too. Like when I when I get in the car, you know, I'm I'm just having fun. I pretend I'm pretending like I'm on a mission or something. There's an old video game I used to play called Death Stranding, and the whole game was just delivering stuff to people in this post-apocalypse demon-filled world. Yeah, it's really weird the description of it. Hideo Kojima, the guy who did Metal Gear, created it. And it's like you're just delivering parcels and packages to people, and I kind of pretend I make my job as fun as possible. Listen to music when I'm in the mood, a lot of podcasts. Gotta make it fun. Life is short. You gotta have fun with it. And my car's a stick shift, too, so I feel cool driving it, you know. I grew up watching movies like Back to the Future, where Marty's driving the DeLorean, you know, the terrorists are chasing him, he's shifting gears. Gotta have fun, man. Life's too short. Too short. You know, don't fill your day with all the news all the time, too. You know, you take a moment or something during the day or once or twice during the week and catch yourself up on world events because you're you're part of this world. You can't be separate from it. I'll be honest with you guys. One of my pet peeves is when you have either friends or family in your life and they're like, I'm too good for politics, you know. The worst is when they straight up ignore you. Even when you're not trying to rile anyone up and you're talking in good faith about it, but just straight up ignores ignore you about it. Like, no. I've learned not to bring it up that much. Um, but damn it. It's like sometimes you just feel so much about it. You gotta say something, you gotta talk to each other about it, you know. Everyone's like in their own little box, in their own little lanes. Don't rock the boat. Don't rock the boat. Well, let's talk, let's talk about something else. You see the game? Uh-huh. Like, yeah, I love the game. You know, the games are fun. Football, yeah, that's cool. But we we gotta talk about it sometimes, right? That's why we have therapists these days, because you just can't talk about some things with people. You feel like you can't be open about it. And look at me. I don't have that gene that makes me um afraid or embarrassed to talk about things, you know. And I've had to learn to can curtail that because I'd overstepped my boundaries sometimes as a kid, you know, and I still do sometimes as an adult, but here I am as a on a podcast. Hey everybody, I'm broke as hell. I work 50 plus hours a week. Come listen to my podcast. Who do you know that would ever do that? They say the greatest fear over death is actually public speaking. Here I am in front of a microphone. Come on, death. You got nothing on me. I'm not afraid to die. Not in the slightest. It's natural. No, I have a healthy fear of death. I'm not gonna walk in front of a semi, I'm not going to uh, you know, I'm I'm scared of heights. I have a healthy fear of death. Like I'm I don't want to waste this wonderful carnation that I've found myself in. Although that hasn't stopped me from eating donuts, pizza, and ice cream to ridiculous amounts, but I don't fear the day I die. I fear what would happen to other people if my death impacted them, you know, and things like that. But death is not something to fear. Death is a companion, it's a reminder. This podcast wouldn't have started if I if death wasn't there. I'll just start it next year. I'll just start it next year. I got infinite years. I'll just start it next year. Oh, nope. I turned 42. I'm gonna die soon. Not soon, but you know. 42? Halfway to 84. Time's ticking. Hit the record button. Gosh. If you guys know somebody who wants to be on the podcast, including yourself, I think you need to reach out to me. I love these solo episodes, but I also love talking to people. So you guys need to reach out to me. You need to click the five stars on whatever app you're listening. You need to leave me a nice review that'll stroke my ego and make me feel good and bump the podcast in the algorithm. We need to band together, our little standing nowhere family here. We need to band together. We need to all get on Discord. We need to organize, we need to be militant about this and get this podcast on the top 10 charts, okay? We're gonna take down Mr. Beast on YouTube. We're gonna take down Joe Rogan. We're gonna be the number one podcast. We're gonna have everyone reflect on what it means to be human and connect with our spiritual side again. Damn it. That's why I started this podcast. Because I'm frustrated with how materialistic people are. It actually is actually a pet peeve of mine when people think that life doesn't exist outside of the current vocabulary that our society has given them. Like there's your hand, right? There's the word hand, and then there's your hand. If you're able to, look at your hand with me right now. I'm looking at my hand. There's some hair on it. There's like a scar or a scratch that's still healing. There's little lines in my palm. Now open your hand and close your hand and focus on that. Just that. There's no language that can contain that. We can point to it. But all the experiences in your life, those are beyond words. If you're able to, think of someone you love deeply in this world. Deeply love. Oh you love this person. Think of them. Think of their face. Think of their smile. Focus on the feeling that you get inside when you think of this person. The sound of their voice, the feel of their touch. That's mysticism, my friend. That's what this podcast is about. The experience of life. Now, when you add on to that, well, the love I feel is just a survival mechanism, you see. And uh that's really all it is. There's not much more beyond this life, really. Life sucks, then you die. That's why I started this podcast. We gotta connect with our spiritual side again. There's more to it than that. And you don't have to theorize about it or take my word for it. You can feel it. You can experience it. It is really something you should try. I am not one of those people who wanted to be uh an endorser of meditation or uh mindfulness. I don't want to be the guy saying you should meditate or you should be more present. I want you to experience it for yourself. It's worth it. In fact, it's the only thing that there is to do is to be there for your life, to stop and smell the roses, smell them, inhale that aroma, that fragrance of life. Let it flow into your nostrils and tickle your smell sensors to trigger whatever it is you're gonna feel. Take it in. Maybe you're bored. Maybe this week is just a big week. What does that feel like? Go into that experience. Cut the chatter in your mind and experience it. What does Tuesday feel like? Holy shit, it's only Wednesday. What does that feel like? Maybe your boss is a prick. Just a prick. Just a prick. What does that feel like? Give that some space. Have you ever had a prick boss? I have. My God. I've had some terrible humans. Which I did not have compassion for. I did not have compassion for at the time. You know, these are people who one story, let me tell you about this story. Long, long time ago. This is back in 2017. We had just moved into a new rental house. Okay. I had saved for a year for the down payment on the rental house to pay somebody else's mortgage, the deposit of which I never got back. Won't sidetrack there. We just get into this house. I want to say somewhere within three to six months, I get suspended from work for three days with no pay. Why? Because I was in a call center where we took calls and we sold show tickets at a casino in Las Vegas. I sold room reservations, show tickets, dinner reservations, etc. I was booking this person's show uh show. I won't say what the name of the casino or what show it was, but when you work at a call center, they have like a checklist, right? And they wanted me to say, um, can I confirm that for you? Like, ask for the sale, quote unquote. And they said I didn't ask for the sale on this call, so they suspended me for three days with no pay. Now, keep in mind, on this phone call, I was talking to this guy describing the seat location. I have a strategy. I've been in sales for a long time. I know what I'm doing. Can I have autonomy, please? Thank you. So I tell this guy, you know, these are the seats, these are the location, this is the price. The guy says, just in the mid mid-sentence, he says, uh, hold on, one second. And he puts his phone down and I hear him talk in the background, and he picks the phone back up and he's like, Oh, something came up, I gotta go buy. And he hangs up the phone. No chance for me to ask for the sale. They suspended me, didn't ask for the sale. I fought back. I said, Hey, I didn't have a chance. This guy hung up. This is an exception. They said, No, you could have asked for the sale earlier in the call. I said, it wasn't the right time. You don't ask someone if they're going to buy something before you know you got them on the hook and they want to buy it. They said, no, you could have asked for the, you know, just blank non-human response, right? These are people who sit in the uh quality assurance department and they listen to phone calls all day and they micromanage this checklist, like a conveyor belt, comes through. They said no. So I pushed it to a supervisor. My supervisor said, Yeah, there's something here, but I'm your supervisor, so I can't approve it. So I got to go to another supervisor. So he sends it to another supervisor, and that supervisor fought me on it. Said, no, you could have asked for it earlier in the call. I said, What the? You know, I was livid. Three days suspension. Now, the three-day suspension wasn't the worst part. The worst part was if I did this again, they would fire me. So I'm three days no pay, worried in my brain when I come back, if I make one more mistake for 12 months, because 12 months is how long it stays on your record and falls off, I would lose my job. So I pushed it above her head to the manager of the whole department. She agreed with me. Holy m what? I gotta go through all this pain and suffering, three days of which I didn't get paid for or compensated for retroactively when they sided with me. And you know what the manager's exact words were? I'm sorry. This was shitty. Verbatim, that's exactly what she said. This was shitty. You shouldn't have had to go through this. My God. My God. And eventually, I did lose my job at this place. That's another story. That's how I got into gig work, though, because I had nowhere else to turn to. I needed money. My brother was doing Uber, I think, and he's like, hey, you know, check the I'm making decent money. And I thought, okay, maybe I can fill the gap until I find another job. And here I am, eight years later, I'm still doing gig work. Oh. There's a little story about me. I wish I could tell you the name of the place, but maybe uh maybe in a private message or something. But that's kind of where my head's at. I just wanted to get a few things off my chest. I am sick and tired of being financially stressed, and I've got things, I think, pretty well organized, and I'm just doing a last push to get this rent covered. And I think in two days, by the time you guys hear this episode, I'll be on my new quote-unquote organized schedule and we'll see how that goes. I'm trying to give myself at least a half day off every week and potentially a day and a half off every week. That's my goal. Because if I have to work 52 55 hours, I'm trying to squeeze that into like four to five days, maybe six days, so that way I can have more time off. Anyways, that's what's going on. I'll keep you guys posted on if if I get a new job too, so you can root me on for that. Because I need some love. I'm in my car all day. I don't get much social interaction. So please reach out to me. If you're watching this on YouTube, leave me a comment. Leave me a little story about your life and a thumbs up and a share and a like and a subscribe and all the good things. Come on. If you're in a podcast app, take a moment. Review it. Ugh. All these other podcasters are so good with their calls to action. I will wrap up. It has been fun. Um, yeah. Reach out to me, guys. Please hop on our Discord. Links are in the description. Send me a message about how your week is going. I want to read about I want to read feedback from you out there. Even if I know you or don't know you, uh, leave me some feedback about what's going on in your life. I'll keep you anonymous if you want. I'll read your story out so that people can uh leave their comments for you. I can read those out on the air. I want to start connecting, you know, this this platform I've created. I want other people to take advantage of. I've I've got plenty of solo episodes talking about my life. So tell me about your life. And I'll I'll let you know how things go for me as well. I'll keep you updated, but uh things are gonna get better. Um, I guess that's what I wanted to get off my chest is you know, I've been meditating for three plus years, and my mind still keeps telling me that things won't get better, and that everyone else is smarter than me and doing something correct, and I don't have it in me. And yet at the same time, I recognize those thoughts and I just let them float away like little balloons into the sky or clouds passing. I am the sky. My thoughts are sometimes good, mostly terrible, and meditation just helps you realize who you really are behind it all. So, if you're really stressed out, just try sitting on a cushion or a comfortable chair in the morning for five to ten minutes. Just follow your breath. See where it takes you. And when a thought comes up and takes you away, when you remember, just come back and be glad that you remembered to come back. Don't get mad at yourself. Ah, damn thought. That one really took me for a ride. Don't do that. Instead, say, Oh, I remembered, I'm back, and focus on what it feels like to come back. I was lost in thought, but now I'm back. I was lost, but now I found. Okay. Thank you for tuning in this week, guys. This has been Standing to Wear Podcast, Jacob Bueller, your host. Always a pleasure to be back, and I will see you next week.